Sunshine's Realm :)

[sunshine]

Iv got to admmit, being a mother is probably one of the most amazing jobs i have EVER had!!!!! xxxxx
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Today i learned it's not a crime to cry....
Today i learned it's not a crime to be happy in an unhappy situation....
Today i learned that I am me... and I am good!

[Mammy]

I bet you're really REALLy good at it too¬
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It's all about YOU!

[mermaid]

sounds like you've got a great big picture of how you want things to be
Hope it all eventuates for you...and then some!
love merm xx
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Be ALL and EVERYTHING that you are; and then some

[sunshine]

Im beginning to realise not much matters bar him.....
He is just bringing so much light into my life!!
Take today, i should be rights be exhausted as he has had me up since 11:30pm last nite, but one smile-and laugh. he can laugh now, just makes it all go away.

God works in mysterious ways but i'll tell you this much for nothing-he is great for giving me such a beautiful bundle of joy!!

anyway i want to get my cleaning done tonight so i have the whole day to spend with him tomorrow!!

Night xxxx
Oh and thanks merm and mammy.. hope you and yours are all well!! xx
_________________
Today i learned it's not a crime to cry....
Today i learned it's not a crime to be happy in an unhappy situation....
Today i learned that I am me... and I am good!

[Mammy]

enjoy every second of this precious time Sunshine. It whizzes past!
_________________
It's all about YOU!

[sunshine]

Our new routine seems to be coming into play now but i am pure wrecked from standing my ground with the baby!! I very mistakenly got him into the habit of coming into my bed in the first 6 weeks if he woke between 11pm and 6am so now have to get him out of it. Its taKen a few days or should i say nights of perserverence to get to this stage but hopefully it will even out soon!! Now he has his last bottl at 7 and his first at 6am, once the 6am bottle is drunk we go for a walk which could last up to two hours and we get home in time for his 10am bottle. He then snoozes and I do chores ad make my dinner, then his 2pm bottle and another snooze and then its play time with tummy time to increase his muscles etc. We start running a bath about quarter to 6, then into the bath and then I put him on my knees and he kicks and splashes on his back, then again we have tummy time and he swims from one end up to the other of the bath. then out and onto the bed, where we have massage dtime some days and then bottle time. By the time he finishes his bottle he is usually semi comatose and then its into the cot and night night!! thats 7pm and by 9pm im semi comatose myself!! this is pretty much my everyday and its great!!
Neway im knackered now so im gona head!! night night!!
xxxxx
_________________
Today i learned it's not a crime to cry....
Today i learned it's not a crime to be happy in an unhappy situation....
Today i learned that I am me... and I am good!

[Mammy]

and just when you think you have it all sussed ..... something changes! - and that's okay too.
You're doing a great job! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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It's all about YOU!

[sunshine]

Ha ha so true!!
Its been pretty mental the last couple of months,
I have moved house-had exams and have his christening this weekend.
Im finally dealing with all my ghost which means crying one day and laughing the next.
I think i can now be included in the "normal" category
I have no internet (or t.v or radio!! fab media student eh??)
so my posts will be quite sporadic but for now the sun is shining in my world! I can only hope it finds its way to all of you too!!
with all the love i can give,
Sunshine xxxxx
_________________
Today i learned it's not a crime to cry....
Today i learned it's not a crime to be happy in an unhappy situation....
Today i learned that I am me... and I am good!

[Mammy]

Dearest Sunshine
I don't think there is such a thing as the 'normal' category

Everybody is loopy somewhere in their lives - and that is perfectly okay.
Maybe 'normal' means being okay with not being perfect?

You are amazing!!

xxxxxxxxxx
_________________
It's all about YOU!

[sunshine]

Hello!!
I am rather excited writing this post-i am finally back online!! Its been 2 months since i got to post here-and about a year since things have been calm enuf to focus energy on this and it feels great!!

You may have noticed i haved changed my blog name-finally-FINALLY things are going good. By that i mean there are shit (pardon the french!!) days and fantastic days but at last iv realised it DOES NOT matter whether the day is good or shite.. the beauty is the fact that there IS a day that has the potential to be either!!

So since i last posted quite a lot has happened!!

First and foremost-the biggest thing for me was i passed my exams clear!! No repeats-man i was in shock for about two weeks there!!! it feels amazing to have a summer as last year i had five repeats so i had forgotten what it was like to relax!!

Then the christening went well which was lovely so my little boy is now legal and we are eagarly awaiting the arrival of his little cousin at the end of this month-poor mam she would have cracked if she was still here!! the first two grandchildren in the space of 8 months haha!! two little boys who will hopefully have the ability to be as thick as thieves as they grow up!!

Then on the work side of things, one of my closest friends was involved in setting up Open Fm which was a new radio station for the LGBT community so needless to say i got stuck in-well as much as 1 cud with a 5 month old and no minder! Ill tell you this much for nothing it was a complete learning experience, forcing me to challenge ideas i had, push myself with new challenges and above all it gave me an insight into juggling motherhood and real life which was emm.. eventful i think is a word that would cover it.

I made so many mistakes-many of which would not have been noticeable to anyone but myself and some to my friend-all of which involved belittling myself and putting myself down with the result that some people felt they could take me for a ride but one of the best mottos iv ever heard is "every mistake is a learning experience" and i learned v.quickly!!

It was quite stressful in many ways which i didnt expect-one being the fact that we were being filmed at every turn so for example as i was telling one of the guys about the gory details of the birth-i discovered i was being filmed!! As iv gained a lot of weight recently (completely my own fault sitting in and eating chinese or supermacs and drinking alone to help me sleep) i was v.self concious and not at all at ease which had knock on effects on everything. on top of it all then i seemed to become the guidance counsellor-thinking i would be able to let it in one ear and out the other-but some of the things people had been thro were so horrific that they just drained me and then the final straw was someone i had only met thro this but immediatly connected to finding out that a v.close family member had cancer and it didnt look good at all-which of course brought up mam (who i am only begining to grieve at all) and my head exploded and i just needed a break.

I took a week off and went away to friends-i ate lovely food-drank WAY to much wine, caught up with everyone and gained another stone but came back happier and so much more relaxed.

Then the temporary licence which the station had was up so i got a babysitter and went to dub for the closing party. Haha-i got in as dawn was approaching!! it was bout 6am b4 i fell in to bed and i was up at 9-shattered!! I went home to my son, and bless him in the space of a couple of hours he got so sick it was unreal. I rang caredoc who felt he needed an ambulance, it came and they said he was fine but theyd bring him in for a double check anyway, got in to a n e and he was taken staight in, his spleen was 5cm bigger than it should be, his temp in the 100's and a viral infection and rash. We then had a stressful 2 weeks till he recovered somewhat and then the last couple of weeks has been about exploring negative issues i have and remedying them.

As a result of this the aforementioned friend from the radio station came down and for the last 2 days has provided me this amazing space to realise a lot that i need to help complete my jigsaw!!

Phew-sorry im worn out now!! haha-i may go-one of my college friends from galway is coming down to stay with me for a few nights so iv to walk to the bus to meet her now!!

I hope you all have a beautiful day and i look forward to catching up with you all soon!!

All our love, sunshine and sun !!
_________________
Today i learned it's not a crime to cry....
Today i learned it's not a crime to be happy in an unhappy situation....
Today i learned that I am me... and I am good!

[sunshine]

Doing bootcamp-might not get out alive.... ha!
Hope your all well

Sunshine and little ray!! x
_________________
Today i learned it's not a crime to cry....
Today i learned it's not a crime to be happy in an unhappy situation....
Today i learned that I am me... and I am good!

[sunshine]

so tired, will post properly soon, as of yesterday im not only a new mam but a new aunt too!! the worldworks in mysterious ways!!! xx
_________________
Today i learned it's not a crime to cry....
Today i learned it's not a crime to be happy in an unhappy situation....
Today i learned that I am me... and I am good!